why oh why?

dear diary...

today, school was nice.. had fun, played badminton *rather badly* but it was fun. was a little late for physics and Yee sze ling like screwed me over and scolded me? like hello!! i was only 2 minutes late? people have been 15 mins late and u dun do anything! get a life! or just stay in the machine.

anyway... today right infront of my own two eyes, my Dad went through everything on my desk including my notebook and drawers. i asked him," Why are you going through my stuff?"

"BECAUSE I HAVE THE RIGHT TO!" came the reply and an angry glare with fire in his eyes that would burn me alive if i said anymore. bleagh.. i mean like.. can i have some space? a little privacy will be nice! i'm not a 3 year old kid u know? ugh.. hate it.. my friends so far that i spoke to are not exactly helping either.. i thought i was growing up until today. i feel reduced, depressed, shrunken and pushed into a little bottle. my brother didnt have his bag or desk going through when he was my age. why me? is it because i'm the youngest child? come on la... equality please! its really horrible la. one bad thing after another...

wheres the eternal peace i felt yesterday and many times before? dunno la... sometimes i wish i could wake up and find it is all a dream. Where is the love i got from my family when i was still in primary school. i feel it much anymore. Mum comes home late, dad dun really spend much time with me or talk to me about interlectual topics. when i talked to him about the IRs, he was like *long pause* i think its a bad idea and little phrases as answers with long pauses in between. My brother is out a lot of the time and i don't even know how well he is doing in school.. aww well..



An Ren